Using the Spectre of Terrorism to Justify Layoffs

The year 2005 has been a turbulent time of migration for my unnamed company. The Board, in its infinite wisdom, decided that internal helpdesk functions act as a detriment to the compnay. They reached this decision by examining the Home Office functions that operate within a 40 mile radius of New York City. After many long meetings, gallons of coffee, and pounds of doughnuts it was decided that all Home Office functions operate within a 40 mile radius of New York City. Therefore, major IT functions must be moved to a new location outside of said radius because a crippling attack to Home Office functions in the New York City area could have devastating results on the bottom line. Instead, they decided to fire a bunch of people.

Realizing that firing people did not solve the problem, a campaign to outsource the functions once performed by loyal employees with a decent salary and generous benefits package was implemented. The Board decided on a company based in the Old South, because there is nothing terrorists want to blow up outside of the NorthEast, West Coast, and Chicago. The new company hired 40% of the former employees paid them less and gave a pittance of benefits.

To justify this action they invoked the threat of Terrorism once again (See "Absurdity") and cited the savings in the hundreds of millions. This figure is propped up by the belief that IT functions had to be moved because the specter of terrorism loomed high over the foothills of the NJ Appalchian Mountians. Since they did not move an internal IT department they save that money. Since they save that money they can use it as a justify their actions. The reality of the situation? They pay the same amount of money to the outsourced company as they would if they kept all their employees, employed. There is no savings they just like to fuck their employees in the ass.

I hate my job.